Joy Cornett 1/6/18 Red Happy in HallucinationThe sunlight peeking through my floral curtains shines right through my eyes, telling me to get out of the bed and start my day.
With the warmth of the sunlight that glimmers the dust beautifully, I watched each piece twirl and interact like a ballerina. It was quite a show to start off my morning. Putting my warm and toasty blanket aside, I got up, as usual, to draw on my notebook with some human figures that will be appearing in my hallucination episode today to hang out with. The two friends were labeled 001 and 002. Along with the drawing, I wrote some description saying”Meet me at Maple street bus stop at 8:00″ The notebook has been used to draw sceneries I want to see. But today was different. I wanted to talk to someone.
I wanted someone to care for me. My heart was pounding faster and faster and for the first time in forever that there may have smiled. Could it be possible that I’m happy? I walked towards my closet and put on this freshly bought yellow dress with lace all around it making me look fancy, although my bed hair ruins it all.
Running out the door with my shoe half on, I also made sure to grab my notebook. digging through my purse to collect as many coins as possible. The notebook was my only hope.
There were so many scraps of whatever candy or granola bar pieces under my nail but I was satisfied the fact that It matched up to the exact amount to ride the bus. Running into the bus while admiring my luck, the bus driver gives me the look as if he was looking a helpless puppy. Unable to hold my excitement in, I was felt like a little girl again. I plopped down right in the front by the window.
Right next to me was this old lady who had fancy hairdo but grubby clothes. It made me giggle inside how it was just like me except my clothes were fancy and the rest unmaintained. My little short legs were swinging in the air rhythmically while humming and imagining how my day will be like.
There were few looks people were giving me but it didn’t bother me. holding my notebook in my hand, it got me to think. What will become of me from now on? After some time, I stopped thinking about that. Or maybe I forgot…how to think at all. This world that belongs to me, each and every day, continues on.
This day was special and it felt amazing like never before. It’s a miracle I’m happy. Every day is a pure agony no matter what I draw in my notebook.
After few moments, the bus almost reached my destination. Just like a puppy seeing the owner after reuniting, I put my hands and forehead on the bus window to look out if I can find my friends. Eye contacts were made between the two standing by the bus stop, waiting for me.
As for today’s hallucination, Their faces were exactly the same to the two characters I imagined to look like on a book I read over and over each day at school by myself. I began thinking about my past that keeps chasing me. I had no one. I alone in my fantasy world.
Walking towards my friends, my eyes like the dead fish turned into a body of the enchanting river. As I was to greet my friends, I noticed something peculiar about them. Their mouth were sewn shut. But I liked it that way. They wouldn’t able to say anything cruel to distress me. Along with that, the number that I named for them, 001 and 002 were tattooed on their cheeks.
“Hey, how have you’ve been?” 002 asked me in the sweetest, and warm-hearted way with a big smile. Crying with abundant of tears rolling down my cheeks. The feeling of happiness seemed to overflow and it was incredible just having someone by your side.
Brain started to throb, and along with my heart I dropped to the ground with sweat running in all crevices of my body. “let’s go to the river to cool you off,” 001 suggested to make me feel betterI nodded my head and walked straight to the river just a block around the bus stop. With my friends, we slowly went into the river. I felt content with my life in this exact moment. I finally wasn’t alone.
Even if those past memories make me sad, i realized i’ve got to go, believing in the future. Even when I realize my loneliness, and am about to lose all hope, those memories makes me stronger.