Dear judicious and superficially eminently practical tone. I feel

Dear Dr Swift,


After reading your perturbing views
promoting institutionalised cannibalism, I am aghast at this facetious approach
to a critical matter occurring in Ireland. I find it farcical and candidly
ludicrous that one could present this deplorable “proposal” in such
an audacious manner. I feel your writing is highly irreverent and sardonic, and
the cavalier attitude is abhorrent. You have no right to diminish the potential
of one’s life. It is exceptionally inhumane; the way in which you refer to the “rearing”
of young children for food – encouraging anthropophagy. I was utterly revolted
and disturbed at your descriptions of landlords devouring children, as well as
when I was reading about the “carcass of a good fat child”. In your
6th paragraph, you irrationally suggest that cannibalism is preferred to
slavery – not to demote slavery, but merely to elucidate that cannibalism is
economically beneficial, as money is generated efficiently. The most nauseating
moment was reading about “buying the children alive”.  Children are not pigs – another
flabbergasting idea. I strongly oppose your views and find them scandalous,
disparaging and provocative.

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Although it is appalling how you talk
about how young children would, “equally serve in a fricasie, or a
ragoust”, what sickens me most, is your seemingly judicious and
superficially eminently practical tone. I feel this adds a depraved aspect to
your already disreputable beliefs. Dr Swift, you present your frivolous
concepts in an ostensibly acceptable fashion. It is unendurable for you to
assume the air of a man who is acting pragmatically and astutely. In no way are
your notions realistic, logical or rational; but instead, hyper-rational,
sadistic and atrocious. I feel disgraced by how you could see your ideas as
sagacious, and display them in a cogent, data-driven method, with strong
persuasion. It is clear to me, that common-sense and rationality are not high
in priority to yourself. 


Not only does this passage grotesquely
compare children to “wholesome, nourishing food”, it is incredibly
misogynistic, likening women to “breeders”. Mankind is not a guinea
pig in your computed and scientific experiments, (as suggested by your
reprehensible tone) and should be dealt with appropriate respect. Women are
not, and so should not, be treated as cattle, with no say in their decisions
and futures. The ideas you tranquilly put forward about women (such as that
they are only of use for bearing children) are preposterous, and it is
unbelievable that any person should have such scandalous opinions. I find it
traumatising, how you can possibly expect amorous mothers to care for their
babies for only 1 year, before giving them up to be made into “fricasie”
or “ragoust”. It is frankly immoral and deeply unethical to express
such dire views. I have never experienced such unscrupulousness in a person
ever before.


Conversely, as I perused on; to the depiction
of children likened to “roasting pigs”, it ultimately dawned on me, the irony
in your tone. I grasped the absurdity of your outwardly “plausible” ideas,
which were instead intended to lampoon. Dr Swift, your overture successfully
convinced me, as the verisimilitude was extraordinarily effective. I discerned
the target of your satire to shift – from the poor and deprived, to the rich
and idle; the satirical tone becoming evident. The premeditated humour arises
visibly to the surface, during your supposed “encouragement” of euthanasia and
the callous Malthusian view – essentially highlighting that, the old are indispensable
and should be respected. Your target appears to deviate once more, when commencing
your attack on the “papists”, endorsing their genocide, annihilation and
“ethnic cleansing”. This, you say, provides an additional “advantage” to your
proposal – the eradication of the Catholics, by their consumption. But, as I
comprehended, the genuine target of this satire and mockery, are not the
Catholics in the least, but the “absentee landlords”, who are depicted as sucking
the prosperity out of humankind.  


In your subsequent paragraph, you
ingeniously delineate the struggles of women in everyday life, and how men seem
to be “superior”; treating them like animals. Chauvinism is opposed here, by
referring to women as “mares” – a sordid representation, used to satire the misconceptions
of men and the harsh realities in the generation. You finally return to your
fundamental moral, generating a remarkable illustration of “a fat yearly
child”, at a “Lord Mayor’s feast”. This is used as a vivid metaphor for the
establishment devouring the poor. The hilarity is overtly unmistakable when you
suggest the picture of guests gorging “infant’s flesh” at christenings and
weddings – the literal symbol of human life, causing despondency to transform
to amusement.


Dr Swift, we need you now. We need you
here, to satirise our ideas of society, our obsessions and our threats; ranging
from the derisory fixations on celebrity culture to the imperative issues of
racial discrimination and misogyny in the world today.


How could these celebrities have become our idols? Our supposedly golden
standards? Our hopes and our dreams? There is a disparity between appreciation
and obsession, and our generation seems to have lost sight of the border. Dr
Swift, we need you to satire this culture. Society’s interest surrounding celebrity
culture is not predominantly varied from that of a religious cult, seeking the
extremes of their beliefs. Our present is filled with us seeking ideals; but
searching in all the wrong places. We should not be seeking gold at waterfalls.
Similarly, we should not be seeking idols in celebrities. Idols should be those
with genuine accomplishments in life. Not those who smile for the camera a
hundred times a day. Our lives are incessantly rotating around celebrity
culture. Around media. Fake news. Gossip. We want what they have; and we eat
what they feed. On their Instagram accounts. Snapchat. Facebook. Liking their
pictures; where they are standing near a colourful wall wearing the latest
looks, by a swimming pool with their designer sunglasses arranged fashionably
on their head, on a beach with the sun in their newly dyed hair of the most
“fabulous” colour. Day and night. A rota. A lifestyle.
celebrities are only idolised for their image and not their veritable talent,
then anyone can slide into fame – into that “celebrity culture” that is much
desired and craved.


Dr Swift, I would like to attain your
level of satire through my proposed cartoon, followed by text; and cause the
efficacious irony which you expressed memorably throughout your own, “Modest
Proposal”, in my writing below – mocking the concepts of celebrity culture. My cartoon would
comprise of a row of people, ogling into their mobile phones, captivated.
Overhead, two planes would be approaching the twin towers – an illustration of
the atrocious attack: 9/11. The people on the ground, however, would be
oblivious to this, and would not attempt to hear the cries of “Help!” from the
victims above. Below this image, my text would express the following satirical
sentiments. “Is Kylie Jenner pregnant? Does Kim Kardashian want a fourth child?
Who is Ed Sheeran’s fiancé? Him, her, me and you; are riveted by such juicy
speculations. They are much more appealing than difficulties we have no control
over – terrorism, violence…. Etcetera. Etcetera. Why fret? Why should we be
mesmerized in affairs without answers? Instead, support the Utilitarian view.
The greatest good for the greatest number, by the principles of Jeremy Bentham.
If we submerge ourselves into celebrity culture, everyone is content. There are
no complications to divert us. We feel happy. Others talk about the latest
gossip and feel happy. We should not parley about death, inhumanity, crime – what
benefit could that possibly achieve? It would only concern and distress; posing
as anxieties in our lives. No. A life without worry: the appealing life is what
to seek.”


Another crucial concern, which I deem is in desperate want for your incomparable
satire, is racial prejudice – a vital matter occurring for centuries.


America is a prime example of this ascending animosity of miscellaneous
races. America: a country alienated by race. African Americans comprise of only
13% of the US population and 14% of the monthly drug users, but 37% are
arrested for drug violations. In 2010, the US Sentencing Commission testified
that African Americans receive 10% longer sentences than whites for identical
crimes; both statements emphasizing the unjustness in the method in which humanity
functions. The foundation for this racial discrimination is unpretentious.
People learn what their society teaches them. People are effortlessly steered
by those round them. People are perspicacious, inclining towards the majority.
Examples of a religious extremists in America are the Klu Klux Klan, a
terrorist group who promote Christian supremacy and attack other cultures,
especially the African-Americans. But all humans are the same. We are all one.
We are all equal. Being black or white does not change that. Asians, blacks and
whites, all have the same skin pigment, but darker skin contains more melanin.
Is this a reasonable vindication for the appalling separation of mankind?

Once again, my cartoon would aim to satire – representing a black policeman,
being arrested by a member of the Klu Klux Klan, for the crime committed by a
white robber, who is absconding the scene. The black policeman would portray
his emotions through a speech bubble, saying, “Is this because I’m black?”. The
hooded figure of the KKK, would reply mockingly, “Stop using the race card!
Maybe you wouldn’t be in this position if you just lightened up!” Underneath, I
would try to ironically juxtapose my views about racism. “Non-whites. Always
using the race card. Always assuming everything is about race. Why can we not get a job? Race. Why are we punished for crimes? Race.
Race is not the reason. It is not even a factor. Races must be separated, kept
apart. They do not belong together, because every race has different ideals and
beliefs – they cannot coexist together in society without conflict. Different
races have different mental states. Different levels of intelligence;
comparison between them is impossible. Nations should be divided; the world
would be much enhanced this way. It would be better off, with scarcer
tribulations and complications. Segregation is the riposte to solve our
problems. Solutions must be recognized at last.”

Lastly, finishing on a low note, I would like to express my views on misogyny,
a struggle that women have had to face throughout the ages, and is still
concurrent in their daily life.